Living on the Edge

Although I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints many years ago as a teenager it took me years to even begin to understand what it means to "live by the spirit". To me it's life on the edge, on the edge of this world and the world unseen.

Cedar Waxwing

It can be crazy making at times. Like right now I have this feeling again... this feeling that it's time to move on (our home is on wheels, very freeing) however, I am so torn.  I love our little spot here. As I write I look out the window and see eight finches on the bird feeder, humming birds swarming around another and several doves on the ground where I spread seed for them. The creek on the slope below reflects the trees on the other side. A flock of waxwings is peeping in the trees again.  Yes, it's a beautiful spot for a nature lover like me. We've been here almost four months now, a total of close to two years in the Texas Hill Country close to our son and his family.

Black Chinned Humming Bird

So why the inklings of moving? Not sure! This morning while listening to a conference talk as I exercised it came again, "South Africa". It's been coming up a lot. Right now we're broke! We've put everything and more into our nonprofit.

Life on the edge, the paradox between what is logical and what is spiritual. For me when a "thought" invites me to step out of my comfort zone I can usually count on it being from God.

The Morning After

Strange how the morning after a great day, great spiritual day, I'm usually in a funk. Have never totally understood why, but have come to understand the pattern, so I'm less likely to succumb to it as I used to.

While working as a psychotherapist years ago I'd explore feelings with my clients. We'd look at what was underneath. I'd teach them to pay attention to their feelings.

That's all well and good, and still important much of the time. However, I've also learned that, like this morning, I just need to put my feelings aside and act. When I do that it doesn't take long until the funk disappears and I'm back in the groove.

Two things really added to my change this morning:
1. Reading the scriptures as I try to do first thing each day
and
2. opening my laptop and seeing my wall paper for the month...
It's Nikela Rhino Rescue month... my son calls it a Revolution!

The Starting Point

This is General Conference weekend for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Before the first session of conference I chatted on the phone with my youngest daughter. She challenged me to make note of any personal inspiration I felt during the talks. I accepted.

President Uchtdorf (second counselor in the First Presidency of the Church) spoke about using modern technology to spread the word. Now this wasn't the first time he'd addressed this topic, but today it struck a chord.

Still listening to his talk I went to Mormon.org and responded to the invitation to create a profile. Then this afternoon during Elder Holland's talk (on a totally unrelated topic) I felt prompted to start a personal blog to share my journey home... so I did.

Where this will lead I'm not sure, I will let the Lord be my guide and see what unfolds.